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Macho sex vs. true intimacy

I talked and talked about the importance of intimate sexual relationships and about creating that close bond with your partner, but I haven’t explained to you what intimacy really means. You might think you know the drill, but more often than not, you’re on the wrong side of the truth.

It’s not that you aren’t capable of understanding what being intimate to a deeper level really means, but nowadays is getting harder and harder to consider it as a viable option. We’re always in a hurry, individualism is peaking, the world around us is moving very fast, there’s no surprise that the sex now is quick and fast, and that we don’t really have time for anything else.

However, despite the raw attitudes espoused in pop culture, many say what they really want is an intimate love relationship. And I’m not talking only about women here. Men are also beginning to put a bigger price on the nurturing bliss that comes from a close relationship, rather than changing girlfriends and sex partners faster than changing socks.

Still, paradox lingers. Turn on about any radio station and you will hear explicit songs about sex and how today’s men and women supposedly want it: Quick and dirty. Fast and hot. No strings attached.

And that message isn’t limited to sexually graphic tunes, movies are also following this lead. A sampling of the latest cinematic blockbusters effectively captures the essence of what experts are calling “macho sex”- a notion that claims romance and intimacy are a thing of the past.

Imagine my surprise when I turn on the TV and listen to 50 Cent, or Akon, or God knows who else, and afterwards I head to my office where I hear hundreds of worried couples, asking for methods about how to regain their intimacy back.

Yes, despite the way sex is portrayed in popular culture, there appears to be a growing chorus of voices from both men and women who are saying just the opposite- that is, they don’t want to do it fast and dirty, they not only prefer to, but insist on doing it slow and beautiful, like it should be done if you want to connect on a higher level.

      

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